Onward Christian Soldiers?

[twallace-murphy@supanet.com]

The recent French electoral debacle worriess everyone in Europe - most of all,
me!!
As I am about to move to France, am doubly concerned, especially as I have
Jewish ancestry. What is my new country of residence to do? They have a choice
between an ineptly corrupt sitting president who is so incompetant he has got
caught with his fingers in the till and, on the other hand, a fascist
demagogue who shares on quality with the socialists - he hates everybody.

However, the French do not have a monopoly on racial arrogance. There is an
English song that was popular in the late fifties called' The English are
Best' which is funny because it encapsulates British racial prejudice:

The English, the English, the English are best
and I would'nt give tuppence for all of the rest.

The four rugged corners of this country of ours
are all occupied by unfriendly powers,
Be they Irish, or Cornish, or Welshmen or Scot,
They're perejudiced upstarts as likely as not.

But the English, the Egnlish, the English are best
etc.

The Scotsman is mean, as we're all well aware.
They walk round in skirts and are covered in hair;
They eat salted porridge then work all the day
and take the road south where in England they stay.

Cos' the English the English, the English are best etc.

The Irishman's a man who our contempt rests beneath.
He sleeps in his boots and he lies in his teeth.
Then he blows up policemen - or so I have heard
and blames it on Cromwell and William the Turd.

The English etc.

The Welshman's a thief who steals what he can.
He's small dark and hairy - more like monkey than man.
He works underground with a lamp in his hat
and sings far too often, too loud and too flat!

The English etc

The Cornishman prays on his neighbours and his knees.
He's Celtic and hairy and infested with fleas.
He drinks scrumpy cider says 'dreckly' a lot
and he's three times as mean as the tight-fisted Scot.

But the English etc.

The Yanks are a race who seek fortune and fame 
- they're bloody colonials who just won't 'play the game'.
They argue with Umpires, and then cheer when they've won
and they practice beforehand - which ruins the fun!.

But the English etc.

Of our friends o'er the channel I do not think much.
Can't stand bloody Dagoes, Frogs, Belgies or Dutch;
and the Germans, well they're German and the Russians are red
and the Greeks and the Eyties eat garlic in bed.

But the English etc.

That's the last of the big boys, only small fry remain.
Peculiar chaps like the Norse, Swede and Dane.
By the cold Baltic waters these Vikings were born
but they've given up raiding cos' they're all watching porm.

Oh the English etc.

The English are modest and moral and good.
So tolerant - so tactful, so mis-understood.
But dont' think all the others are evil or bad -
it's just they know they're born foreign - that what makes them so mad

But the English the English, the English are best
and I would'nt give tuppence for all of the rest.

If you dont like it and consider that it 'non PC' - don't blame me blame the
authors - Flanders and Swan.

Best wishes

Tim


  
             



 
 



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