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If You Can't Say Anything Nice.........
My Marine tough Grandma, who is 82, once told me, "If you can't say anything
nice, don't say anything at all." It sure has been quite here the last few
days reading the discussion list. I just heard some dust collide with the
ceiling fan above me. I've been biting my tongue, and Judy just told me she's
quite tired up picking it up and sewing it back on. She has requested I move
to another room at night, at least until my blood slows from it's rolling
So I've decided not to renew my subscription to the Hudson Institute, or my
membership in the John Purdue Club. You have finally made my see the mistakes
I have made. But, they really go way back into history. Crow-Magnum man
should have tucked his Big Mac under his armpit instead of starting fires.
His meal would have still been as warm, and think of all of the reduction in
pollution coupled with the saving of the trees. Nature's law of Survival of
the Fittest, should have been called, Survival of the Squeamishly Tolerant.
The food chain is actually a franchise of Piggly Wiggly's. Pavlov should have
read poetry instead of ringing bells. Darwin was just a figment of our
My employer and I were forecasting our business plans for next year
yesterday. I had been hoping to return to GMI next year to continue my career
path. He told me he thought I was ready for Dealer Academy. I assured him
that I was confident I could lead our 93 employees through telepathy. Since
it is against the law here to ask employees about their culture and economic
backgrounds, I chose melding of the minds instead. It seems I'm much to
powerful now to lead my small department of 32, so he has agreed to let me
work alone, in the car wash. He also suggested I take one more vacation this
Judy and I are flying to Jacksonville, Florida tomorrow. I hope the pilot
understands why I must know how much take home pay he gets. I plan on pushing
the beverage cart up the isles also until everyone else is happy. Only then
will I drink whatever's left over. If the folks at the rental car counter are
rude to me, I'll know it's my fault for handing them my cash.
Judy is starting to stare at me now, she called me marshmallow or something
and tried to drop me into her cup of cocoa. I'll have to explain to her that
some of you are actually CIA and have lulled the Talaban into thinking that
if they attacked America, we would invite them over for a mixer and take a
knee to ask for mercy. Now that they believed you, you no longer have to act
that way. You can "come out". I have taken down the Stars and Stripes in
front of my little castle and erected a sign that says, "Osama needs a Hug".
There's a crowd starting to develop out there. I think they must be waiting
for his group hug.
I'm thinking of adding on to the house for all those prisoners that have to
be released. But it seems there are more child molesters and mass murderers
than I have room for. Can I send them to your house?
Donald Sinclair, Indianapolis