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Hi everyone, here's one I received that I thought might appeal ...
>> > Edward Longshanks (Edward I of England) comes to Scotland to conquer
>> > Scots. He brings 4,000 men with him. As he reaches the battlefield,
>> > suddenly on the crest of a hill there appears a solitary figure, a
>> > short ginger-haired guy in a kilt.
>> > "Hammer of the Scots?" yells the wee Scottish guy on the hill. "Come
>> > here, ya English bastards, and I'll give ye hammer!"
>> > Edward turns to his commander and says, "Take 20 men and deal with that
>> > Scottish upstart!"
>> > The commander sends 20 men over the hill to kill the Scot. Ten minutes
>> > later, at the crest of the hill, the little Scot appears again. "Ye
>> > English
>> > bastards!" he yells. "Come on the rest of ye!! Come on, I'll have
>> > Edward is getting somewhat annoyed. He turns to his commander. "Take
>> > men and kill that little guttersnipe!"
>> > The commander sends 100 men over the hill to do the job. Ten minutes
>> > later,
>> > the little Scot appears at the top of the hill again, his hair all
>> > sticking
>> > up, his shirt a bit torn. "Ye English SCUM!" he yells. "I'm just
>> > up!!! Come and get me!!!"
>> > Edward loses patience. "Commander, take 400 men and personally WIPE
>> > OFF
>> > THE FACE OF THE EARTH!" he yells.
>> > The commander gulps, but leads 400 men on horseback over the crest of
>> > hill.
>> > Ten minutes later, the little Scotsman is back. His clothing is all
>> > his face is covered in blood, snot and Irn-Bru, and he yells, "Is that
>> > best ye can do???? You're bloody WIMMIN!!!! Come on, come and have a
>> > ya
>> > bunch of Jessies!!!"
>> > Edward turns to his second in command. "Take 1000 men over that hill
>> > don't come back till you've killed him!" he commands.
>> > The second in command gathers the men and they ride off over the hill
>> > their fate. Ten minutes later, one of the English troops appears back
>> > the top of the hill. He's covered in blood and his clothes are all
>> > "Your Majesty!!" he yells. "It's a trap!!! There's two of them!!!"
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