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friday fun



Hi everyone, here's one I received that I thought might appeal ...

Euan
>>
>> > Edward Longshanks (Edward I of England) comes to Scotland to conquer
the
>> > Scots.  He brings 4,000 men with him.  As he reaches the battlefield,
>> > suddenly on the crest of a hill there appears a solitary figure, a
>> little
>> > short ginger-haired guy in a kilt.
>> >
>> >  "Hammer of the Scots?" yells the wee Scottish guy on the hill. "Come
up
>> > here, ya English bastards, and I'll give ye hammer!"
>> >
>> > Edward turns to his commander and says, "Take 20 men and deal with that
>> > Scottish upstart!"
>> >
>> > The commander sends 20 men over the hill to kill the Scot. Ten minutes
>> > later, at the crest of the hill, the little Scot appears again.  "Ye
>> > English
>> > bastards!" he yells.  "Come on the rest of ye!! Come on, I'll have
>> ye!!!"
>> >
>> > Edward is getting somewhat annoyed.  He turns to his commander. "Take
>> 100
>> > men and kill that little guttersnipe!"
>> >
>> > The commander sends 100 men over the hill to do the job. Ten minutes
>> > later,
>> > the little Scot appears at the top of the hill again, his hair all
>> > sticking
>> > up, his shirt a bit torn.  "Ye English SCUM!" he yells. "I'm just
>> warming
>> > up!!!  Come and get me!!!"
>> >
>> > Edward loses patience.  "Commander, take 400 men and personally WIPE
HIM
>> > OFF
>> > THE FACE OF THE EARTH!" he yells.
>> >
>> > The commander gulps, but leads 400 men on horseback over the crest of
>> the
>> > hill.
>> >
>> > Ten minutes later, the little Scotsman is back.  His clothing is all
>> torn,
>> > his face is covered in blood, snot and Irn-Bru, and he yells, "Is that
>> the
>> > best ye can do????  You're bloody WIMMIN!!!!  Come on, come and have a
>> go
>> > ya
>> > bunch of Jessies!!!"
>> >
>> > Edward turns to his second in command.  "Take 1000 men over that hill
>> and
>> > don't come back till you've killed him!" he commands.
>> >
>> > The second in command gathers the men and they ride off over the hill
to
>> > their fate.  Ten minutes later, one of the English troops appears back
>> at
>> > the top of the hill.  He's covered in blood and his clothes are all
>> torn.
>> >
>> > "Your Majesty!!" he yells.  "It's a trap!!!  There's two of them!!!"
>

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